L O V E

how do you know that you love someone? i mean, is it a feeling? is it that you never stop thinking of them? is it because the sex is good? is sex even a part of it? what if it isnt? can you love someone that you dont really know or do you have to really know someone to feel love for them? what about those people who said they fell in love at first sight? is that really possible? how do you know that the person that you are with is THAT person or not? How do you know that the one is THE one? what does all of that mean? how do you know?

Still learning...

I am still trying to get used to blogging....i am going to do much better now...because I have just joined a gym!! I am happy to say...i suppose this blog is more about me learning to love myself, because lately I have been doing alot for me. The cost of joining the gym is nothing short of ridiculous to me! But I am thinking of it as an investment in me! I have a personal trainer, he was pricey too...but I do think that it will be worth it! My weight is now.....drumroll.....

161 !!!!!


Yea!! I have lost some poundage, and not the wrong way. Wrong way you ask? Well, I used the Master Cleanse as a weight loss diet, and I lost 14 pounds....but gained back 24! Man, I won't do that again, unless I am really trying to cleanse! anyway, i am using my treadmill and weights for when I dont make it to the gym, my trainer is putting me on a diet, and told me to get a journal to write down my exercises and what i eat, which i think is good....and he is absolutely breathtaking....im sure that wont hurt. he looks in my eyes directly and i feel like he cares, ya know! thats a plus for him, now he says i may only lose 12 pounds in 3 months, but i beg to differ, i am shooting for at least 20.....come on! i can do it! i will use this blog to record my ups and downs i suppose....or just whatever i want to....its mine, right?!?!??

Loving me

Exercise....

well today i did a mile....i jogged and walked briskly. i really want to get this weight off of me! all of this flab is not too fab! Last week it was 168, this week its 165...so thats a 3 pound difference, but i want to see more results! thats not enough! man...i will keep trying though. i am going to add weights starting tomorrow. we will see what happens

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

I am gonna allow this blog to help me focus and stay strong...record my ups and downs and help me to keep pressing on. I just got off of the treadmill and this time i did a walk run combination...soo right now i am getting ready to take a hot shower! i wonder why when i run my leggs begin to itch? my buttocks itches too....only when i run...i went to Duke University and walked from one side of the campus to the other during the summer, and my leggs were burning and itching like CRAZY!!! i will look that up and see why...unless anyone who knows the answer happens upon my blog! this is friday and i have only eaten fruits and veggies all week....yesterday i had some green beans with crushed garlic from a chinese restaurant....oh they were soooo very gooood!! what did i have for dinner......man i think i did a bad thing...i didnt eat any dinner....thats not good....i did eat some dried plums (new age prunes)....i just love the taste of them....i snack all of the time! i also ate some carrots last nite...so i suppose that was my dinner.....i suppose it was because i was supposed to go on a date last nite and i was kinda worried because i did not have a baby sitter so i knew that i would not be able to go, but i did not have the guys number to call him and tell him that....so i went to the restaurant with my daughter to tell him that i would not be able to eat dinner there....he was okay with it. anyway, off to the shower i go!

Exercise....

Woo....i just bought a treadmill...second hand for 70 bucks...and yesterday was my first day getting on it. i walked for 5 minutes yesterday and today i walked for 17.56 (18 really) which was 1/2 a mile and another 1/2 lap.....gotta get this weight off

Monday 168 lbs

I will weigh myself again on next monday and record my new weight...if its new...it betta be new...anyway...i have changed my eating habits as well. this week for nine days...i started monday...i will only eat fruits and veggies...today is thursday so i have done pretty good so far....i am trying to loosely follow the fat smash diet by dr. Ian...we will see i'm so proud of me

The first day..

I just wanted to get into blogging, so I decided to write about something that I feel alot of people will have issues with or lots of opinions about. Me...I am 36 years old and still single. I have loved and I have lost. I have never been married, and I believe that must be because I have not learned the lessons of love. What is love? I mean, really....what is love?